Photo Credit: Jim Moran via Compfight cc
Farmers may be in the toughest business: Their supplier is the weather. (Talk about unpredictable.)
My dad didn’t talk spreadsheets or contracts. As a farmer, he was successful because he had wisdom and he acted on it. I remember a particular morning when, as a teenager, I had overslept – and not for the first time. This meant that the livestock were delayed in their feeding.
Dad wasn’t happy. That morning (okay, it was noon), he pulled me aside and said, “Son. Three trees make a row. And you just planted a straight line in a direction we’re not going to go.”
I’ll spare you the consequences I suffered. I will say that I learned this that day: I was trending towards failure, and that wasn’t good enough for Dad – or me. I got the message. The livestock were fed on time from that point forward.
It’s easy to make excuses. The rationalizing of poor performance comes easy. (There are so many reasons why we can’t succeed.) The tolerance for “we almost made it” seduces like a warm blanket in a frigid head wind…offered by those who also didn’t make it.
But what’s the trend? If I don’t exercise tonight, nor tomorrow night, nor the next…the truth is: I’m not a person who exercises. The same goes for high performance: If I didn’t deliver the results I committed to today, nor yesterday, nor the day before…well, three trees do make a row.
What does it mean for us to take greater responsibility for our track record, for the results we’ve delivered so far? And what’s necessary for us to begin a greater trend of success?
There are so many reasons why we can succeed.
I sincerely appreciate your dad’s wisdom in dealing with *reality* with you. Your “trending” impacted both you and the people and world around you. Your behavior had consequences (regardless of the consequences he allowed you to experience). As you rightly said, the animals suffered in the short run and the long term trajectory for your family’s farm would have also been negatively impacted.
Reality *must* drive our approach to life and mentoring others to success. (The definition of success must also be clearly understood, a topic for another time!) Your father gave you some sort of consequence presumably for the purpose of helping you understand that your actions have ramifications in objective reality around you as well as with others’ subjective experiences with you and the impacts you cause. Apart from each one of us really understanding this reality, we can remain self-centered and oblivious to the harm we bring to the world around us.
Though consequences must be applied with wisdom and with the over-all goal to build up the recipient, they must be applied. Otherwise, we are not loving those under our charge, helping them to also wrestle with the reality (and awareness) of their choices and turning their hearts outward. Ultimately, their lives will be less satisfying if they are left to wreak havoc on the world around them and without understanding of cause and effect. The key, of course, is in the “how”.
We must build rather than tear down. Sometimes building includes tearing down old, dangerous foundations or structures that are not sound. With architecture, a bulldozer will suffice. With our fellow humans, a much more delicate process is required. Buildings don’t require love: their structures can be torn down without mercy so that the pragmatics of the situation can be met: clear the space and remove the debris! With humans, those whom we build up through correction and consequence must clearly see and know that all gentle correction comes from a heart of love and a long-term vision to build them into something better and stronger *so that their lives will be fuller and their joy complete*.
James – thanks for sharing your thoughts and what resonates. Your long-term vision for building and developing a solid future routed in a more full life is inspiring. It’s not just about being positive, but moreso about creating the correct path forward. Thanks for your wise observations here.
Thank you for your kind words, Theresa. You got the specific point I was hoping to make, for which I am grateful! The best to you and yours…
I am especially impressed with James’ comment that it’s easy to bulldoze a building but working with people is more art than science. Empathy is truly a powerful and enduringeasership trait.