WHAT APPEARS TO BE
The other day my wife and I were sharing a laugh. My three year old didn’t think it was funny. So she picked up her Princess TV remote, pointed it at me, and said, “Daddy, I pause you.”
Have you ever been paused before?
WHAT MIGHT BE
How often do I go through a day ignoring the authentic feedback I am receiving? Clearly, what my daughter was trying to say was, “Daddy, don’t tease my mom.”
How many times have I tried to lead a meeting, lamenting those who are disengaged, instead of hearing what people were really trying to tell me: your meetings suck.
How many times have people not delivered results, and I wish we had different hiring practices, when in reality what they’re trying to tell me is: you need to become a better leader.
What percentage of people do you believe are attentive to the feedback they are receiving throughout a day?
WHAT CAN BE
The strength of our awareness- our proficiency at deciphering what people are really trying to say- determines how far we will go in life and the quality of our journey. Most of us have a built in “ego-protector” which deflects criticism outwardly. There are some amongst us who have a different approach.
Today, when results fall short, take the following steps:
- Point the remote control at yourself and press pause.
- Ask yourself, “What role did I have in this outcome?”
- Ask, “If I were to assume full responsibility, what would my actions be moving forward?”
We are the directors of the actions we take in this movie called life. There’s no more waiting for a daughter to say, “Daddy, I pause you.”
What is the difference between what “might be” and what “can be”? You decide.
Great idea to Pause ourselves !!!!
I’d like to share a recent situation I was in and the resulting conversation I had last week. When I left Denver I went to a conference in Austin. One morning, during an unscheduled discussion that turned into a 12-15 person round table (of industry people Iâ€™ve never met prior), I engaged in a difference of opinion with a colleague. We held different opinions about a Texas state law pertinent to our work. When I returned to the home office days later, a director in my company who attended the conference with me pulled me aside. Turns out I was wrong, and I was the only one that didnâ€™t already know that. Everyone was being polite and did not “press the pause button.” My lack of self awareness there â€“ my ego saying I was right â€“ did not allow me to see the reality. Regardless of right/wrong â€“ that conversation should have stopped.
If my ego was not leading the way, I would have seen the â€œnon-verbalâ€ communication. The silent scream that said â€œMarc, stop talking.â€ Now Iâ€™m making a conscious effort to see what my ego shields me from. To see the situation from the unbiased perspective â€“ as opposed to my perspective.
The blogs are great. I have a second chance to turn my department around. I certainly must take advantage of that. My way didnâ€™t work the first time.