WHAT APPEARS TO BE
How often do you find yourself angry? In those moments when you are angry, how quickly are you able to let the anger go and move forward?
Today, observe how many people spend time being angry. Curiously, these people dismantle their ability to get anything done — and ruin their chances of enjoying the only day they’re guaranteed.
WHAT MIGHT BE
When angry, I often try this strategy: I’m going to stay angry with the person until they change. No surprise, I have a success rate of 0%. And the not-so-funny thing about this is: I’m the only one whose day is ruined.
Anger is not a leadership tool. Rather, it is blazing neon sign telling the world that we are momentarily disabled. And if we’re emotionally illiterate — and we stay angry — we begin the work of disabling others.
WHAT CAN BE
Enlightened leaders know that anger is a mask for another emotion. Those around us who are emotionally literate, when they feel anger, immediately decode their anger. They ask themselves, “What am I really feeling?” and “What is really bothering me?”
Of course, once they have the answers to these questions, they can do something about it. More often than not anger means we’re afraid of something…afraid we’re not going to finish the project on time, afraid we won’t get the recognition we want, afraid someone won’t behave the way we expect them to.
Perhaps the reason we think we’re angry is because then we’re not responsible. Any other emotion means we have to change first.
Think you’re angry? Think again.
What is the difference between what “might be” and what “can be”? You decide.