WHAT APPEARS TO BE
How often do you find yourself angry? In those moments when you are angry, how quickly are you able to let the anger go and move forward?
Today, observe how many people spend time being angry. Curiously, these people dismantle their ability to get anything done — and ruin their chances of enjoying the only day they’re guaranteed.
WHAT MIGHT BE
When angry, I often try this strategy: I’m going to stay angry with the person until they change. No surprise, I have a success rate of 0%. And the not-so-funny thing about this is: I’m the only one whose day is ruined.
Anger is not a leadership tool. Rather, it is blazing neon sign telling the world that we are momentarily disabled. And if we’re emotionally illiterate — and we stay angry — we begin the work of disabling others.
WHAT CAN BE
Enlightened leaders know that anger is a mask for another emotion. Those around us who are emotionally literate, when they feel anger, immediately decode their anger. They ask themselves, “What am I really feeling?” and “What is really bothering me?”
Of course, once they have the answers to these questions, they can do something about it. More often than not anger means we’re afraid of something…afraid we’re not going to finish the project on time, afraid we won’t get the recognition we want, afraid someone won’t behave the way we expect them to.
Perhaps the reason we think we’re angry is because then we’re not responsible. Any other emotion means we have to change first.
Think you’re angry? Think again.
What is the difference between what “might be” and what “can be”? You decide.
The is a old viewpoint that goes like this:
If you have the facts on your side, pound the facts. If you have the loaw on your side, pound the law. If you have neither facts or law on your side, pound the table.
Seems to me that sometimes I find myself with neither facts or rule of law on my side. rather than pounding on something, maybe I can get farther along if I just sit down.
Mike – No ‘comment’ from you would be complete without a quote, and the one above delivers. Actually, it’s your additional words, about “sitting down” that impact me the most. An important reminder that I have much to learn – especially in the moments when I’ve lost my cool. How many people can sit down at times like that? How many can let others have the table? Seems like those amongst us who are the best at delivering long term results can do it.
Thanks for your note, Mike, and thanks for hanging around with The Tall Guys.