It’s tempting to rush to the answer. Our brains crave belonging to a community; rejection feels like death. That’s why so many choose to belong to something instead of choosing to do the right thing.
The collaborative leader, however, isn’t coerced into the illusion that they must choose sides. The principle from which they operate is resolution – which often requires contributions from both groups.
The siloed group that only wants to isolate or compete with other groups presses us into believing that if we leave them, we’ll be lost. But the opposite is true: Without us, the group ceases to exist.
The options in front of us are rarely binary. Choosing sides is usually a decoy, a deviation from the spectrum of solutions available only when groups work together.
Whose side are you on? The collaborative leader sees the code behind the inquiry.
P.S. The group will shout at you: Refusing to choose sides means you’re afraid of conflict! (Remember, the group’s existence is at stake.) Smile with the wisdom that the opposite is true: As you seek solutions, by demonstrating empathy for the other group and maintaining your values, it is you who is choosing to enter into conflict – the sort that works.