Belonging to a group means demonstrating expected moral standards (lest you be rejected). Which is why effective leaders prioritize determining and cultivating the aligning narrative of who we will be together.
In some groups, it’s okay—even expected—to:
- Speak poorly behind a colleague or neighbor’s back, while saying nice things to their face.
- Complain about a lack of leadership, while showing none of your own.
- Moan about your government without exercising your right to vote.
Beyond killing someone or committing a serious crime, there is only one governing body to hold you accountable to moral standards: You.
You are the only one watching you when no one else is looking.
The group you’re in tells you what’s normal, what behaviors are predictable and rewarded.
If you dislike the conduct of your group, you have three choices:
- Continue to model the conduct that doesn’t meet your own expectations.
- Find a new group.
- Get busy—and get effective—at elevating the cultural norms of the group you’re in.
Reminder: Before leaders express what they expect of others, they hold themselves accountable to the expectations they have of themselves.
